im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize