i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
