I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
