Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
