Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
