I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
