that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
