remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
