If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
