I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
