Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
