Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
