Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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