Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize