Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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