So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
