we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the day after is always just damage control
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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