its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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