could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
