If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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