Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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