Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
