I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list