He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked