I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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