I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
