giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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