and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
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i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
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Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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