Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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