I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
