I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
