So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
