There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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