shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
