god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
