it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
be right there i have to get my cape
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
