I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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