she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
