M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
