Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
