I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
