I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
