Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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