The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
