wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize