totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
