I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
