I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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