I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
