He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
