exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I need moral support for this bender
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
