Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
false alarm, still single
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
