It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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