Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
