This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
