You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
