I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She announced her abortion via fbk
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
