I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
