Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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