We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
someone owes me an orgasm
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
